19/20, August 2021

19th. My alarm is going off and I can feel Jack’s breath punching through  the living room glass. There’s a slight chill in the cabin reminding me it’s time to start turning on the heat, but for now I leave the thermostat alone. My clothes are beside me for easy access and everything I need is laid out or packed in the car already. Within five minutes I’m dressed and have the car warming up. This should knock down the frosty glaze. I return inside and wake my brother. The clock reads 04:30 yet I feel like I’ve been awake for hours. The eager excitement is bubbling up and it’s terribly difficult not to rush my brother. He’s already moving exceptionally fast for someone woken so early and with little sleep. It seems like a lifetime, but we are in the car and down the road by 04:45. I spend the next 5 hours speeding, speeding some more, and driving faster than I should. Is that incriminating? I’m excited to see my cosmic sister. 

At around nine thirty I arrive to pick up T. I step out of the car and see her through the glass window. She’s waving with a smile that lights the darkest night. Within a heartbeat we’re embracing each other. Her energy is as warm and as large as the sun. It helps me to understand why flowers are always in bloom around her. The rest of the day will be spent in a smile. I introduce her to my brother and we go to grab some coffee. We catch up for a minute, check out a book store, then decide we’re all hungry. I’m left with the choice of where to eat lunch so I pick an authentic Thai restaurant. T is a foodie down to her core and loves thai. It was a no-brainer to go. After lunch, which we ate with a partial view of the  bay, we walked through a wooded park throwing disc golf and enjoying the sparkling conversation. It was really nice to have someone with me who walks and moves at my life pace. T, never one to miss an opportunity, snaps a picture of the three of us. This is a rarity and I know of only one other who has a picture of my brother and I together since 2013. Good job T!!!! (Jordan from the PCT is the other)

The rest of the day is spent without regret. I dropped T off at the airport at around 19:30 with one last smile and headed back to Homer. I made it about a block before I started crying. My brother offered to drive, but I assured him I was fine as I cried for the next few miles. I finally settled down by the time we reached hwy 1. My brother and I spend the rest of the night talking about the day and thankful for how we’ve grown, how we are reconnecting, and how awesomely fun and amazing T is. I pulled into our driveway at 00:30 Monday Morning. 

20th. My alarm is going off and I want nothing to do with it. Unfortunately I can’t ignore it as I have responsibilities, i.e., work. It’s 05:30 and feels like I only went to bed a moment ago. Reluctantly I get up and head to work grabbing a dirty chai with a double shot on my way. Thank you Jess T for introducing me to the single hardest addiction I’ve ever come to know. You’re a beautiful human with a heart of gold, truly a gift. I get to work and am suddenly awake. I’m also excited. My job is rewarding, entertaining, and a blessing. I’m really a fortunate human being. It took only a moment and my work day was over. I left the building with a smile of authentic joy co-created  by everyone occupying the interior. Nothing can break this smile. Not even the check engine light that just lit up the dash 100 feet from my driveway. I’ll find out tomorrow if it’s going to be expensive or not. The car is running fine so I’m hopeful it’ll be minor, e.g., telling me its oil change time or perhaps an O2 sensor. Either way, I’m going to cook a quick dinner, write a blog post, and call it a night. 

So, here we are. It’s 19:00 and I’m ready for bed. I’ve got my headphones for affirmations at the ready and my eyes are heavy with fatigue. Tomorrow is going to be another beautiful day. I already know. Salome, friends. 

A garden of love grows within us all

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