27, August 2021

I didn’t get the best night of sleep. My mind wouldn’t slow down. I felt like a race car with bicycle brakes. So I utilized the help of breathing exercises, eventually finding a resolve. Unfortunately I was left feeling slugish the remainder of the day. I did manage to grab a few hours of sleep before my day started with me leaving the house shortly after eight in the morning. Good thing I didn’t have to start pre dawn or I might not have made it. As I was driving down the driveway to leave I noticed the clearness held by the atmohpere. There were no clouds hanging low or high and the haze that has been on the horizon is nonexistent. This means I can see the volcano. It sure is a pretty site. A little unnerving as well, but it’s all part of living in the ring of fire. The chances of it doing the volcano thing are slim so I dno’t give it a large amount of attention with my thoughts. I do however spend some time observing it with my eyes. With one last glance it’s out the driveway and down the road. I’m taking my brother to his new employment. I do hope he enjoys it. 

The drive took about thirty five minutes and was beautiful the entire way. Up and down small hills, around bends that gave glimpsing views of glaciers and the bay, and through the shadows of a canopy threatening to dump its leaves. It is a remarkable drive and one I don’t mind making. Nature sure does help. After dropping my brother off I ran some errands, grabbed a chai, and came home to make a quick lunch. Nothing fancy, a turkey and cheese sandwich. I actually ate two. I then did some cleaning and headed off to go to work myself. It sure is pretty here. I had to make an unexpected stop as a cow moose and her calf decided to cross the road directly in front of me. It was super cool to be so close. They ended up stopping traffic in both lanes as speed wasn’t on their minds. From what I could tell most people didn’t mind. I could see the occupants of the other cars all raising cell phones for the inadvertent photo opportunity that was being provided. I was gawking too much to even think about taking a picture, but I’ll try better next time. The rest of the trip into work was uneventlful. Work however, wouldn’t be as lax. 

Working in the mental health industry has had it’s ups and downs. The pros far outway the cons for me, but there are always times when the con presents itself. Yesterday was one of those days. I’ve set healthy boundaries while co-creating positive relationships which has helped tremendously to foster rapport with coworkers and clients. Nonetheless struggles are unavoidable, e..g., the stressfullness that comes with irrational, potentially combative behaviour when a situation is perceived as a crisis by an individual and aid person isn’t able or doesn’t understand how to deal with or address it. Often it leads to a fickle situation. Eventually though these situations pass and composure is regained. These situations can however leave a mark. It’s also part of the reason for my lack of sleep. I’m constantly questioning myself, e.g., did I make the right choice, could I have done things differently, was I helpful, should I have used different terminology, etc. etc.. I’ve also acknowledged that these types of situations can lead to burnout. I’m safeguarding against the latter by understanding my work is meaningful, valuing the impact I have on others, and appreciating the value tha clients have in me. We shall show how it goes. I’m still excited and eager to go to work every day, so I would say I’m doing alright. I must confess that I still need to work on “letting go”. Seems a litte challenging for an empath who desires to help, but I’ll get there. Perhaps I’ll share what I’ve discovered in my next blog post. Anyway After work I arrived home shortly before twenty three thirty and was drained. As you can imagine I grabed a snack and hit the sack. I was too emotionally drained to write a post. 

Fertile lands are built upon volcanic aftermath

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